365 Days of Wonderful – Day 9
It is empowering to know that I am at the helm of my destiny. I’m in charge. And o boy, I am responsible for it all. In a way I am grateful for that knowledge, and for that clear, sometimes challenging position. Yikes, that also means that I get to choose. I get to choose what I do, and how I feel about it. I get to choose how I react, and respond. I get to choose to be conscious or unconscious, and I get to choose how I show up in the world, and how I show up for myself. I am super grateful about all of that. AND it is a BIG responsibility.
This means that when I am stressed out, and it feels like my hamster wheel goes too fast… I get to remember who makes the to do lists in my life–it’s me. I am grateful that I love to make to do lists. And I am grateful that I choose what gets done first. I am grateful for choosing to be the kind of person who does what I say I will do. I am grateful for choosing to be the kind of person that accomplishes tasks. I feel good when I keep my word. I feel good when I get things done.
I few years back I woke up. I seriously feel like I woke up, right in the middle of my life, conscious that I was not happy. I got that I had made a series of decisions and went a certain way, hoping that things would work out all dreamy and peachy. And somewhere along the line, things never really turned out all dreamy or peachy, and I think I must have fallen asleep at the wheel. It was easier to not look. I watched television, tended the laundry, dishes, garden, and distracted myself by being too busy. I started a business and grew my practice. I went on vacation to escape it all. I told myself–this is what we do.
But when I woke up, it felt like a mid-life crisis. And it lasted several years. Maybe it was several mid-life crisises, one after another, like pealing away the layers of the onion. I honestly did not know how to stay in the reality that I had created, AND break the patterns that I had rooted myself into. But I was awake damn it. I was alive, and awake, and uncomfortable.
And I am so so grateful that I woke up. Even in my discomfort, I would rather be awake. Even in the face of needing to change my life, I was grateful that I could see it. Even seeing and participating in the patterns, knowing that I wanted to change, I was grateful to be conscious.
Now I think that this waking, and falling asleep may be a part of the natural rhythm of things–the ebb and the flow of life. But I also know that there are times when I am asleep (actually sleeping) when I am dreaming, and I am conscious that I am dreaming. I can be having a bad dream and at a point I decide I don’t want to be playing that out, and I wake my self up–literally. And I get up, get a glass of water, and deiced that I don’t want to go back to that dream and play that out.
You can use this idea in your every day life too. You don’t have to play it out. You can choose a different path. You can choose to stay. You can choose to break your patterns within the construct you’ve created, or you can go. We get this one life in this grand space suit that is your body, and your can change your mind, you can change your job, you can move, you can learn new skills, you can get new friends, you can behave in new ways, establish new habits, and OH MY GOSH… AREN’T YOU GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF THAT??!!! That is INCREDIBLE!
I am so grateful that we get this amazing life, to create, envision, and do. We get to do, be, have, whatever we want. And we can change our minds an any time.
Now I’ll agree, some things are easier to change than others. And some things are behaviors that are deeply rooted in our psyches. Many of our beliefs are formed before the age of 5. It is easy to imagine that a belief I constructed about myself, and the world when I was 3, might not be so effective for me at 53. The good news is, that you don’t have to live unconsciously, asleep at the wheel of your life.
With this in mind, I ask myself, “When did I decide that being overly busy was a good thing?” What purpose did it fill? It does not feel like a constructive strategy now. I’m grateful that I get to dig around in that. I am grateful that I get to unpack that belief, and decide that it is not serving me now, and I am grateful that I can choose to develop new strategies that are healthier. The trick is getting off that darn hamster wheel without hurting myself. LOL But, hey–I’m awake and grateful, right?! So I get out my journal, I make a cup of tea, because tea helps me, in every situation. I can chew on my thoughts with my friends, and my coach, my counselor, with God.
I am grateful that I can choose to change my mind, my behaviors, and I can go in a new direction. I am grateful that I can choose to forge a path of Joy.
365 Days of Wonderful – A Gratitude Practice for shifting the way that we think, and re-framing life with a slant toward the positive.
Like what you read? I’m a Transformational Life Coach. Gratitude, Wellness, and Joy are what I advocate. Want to know more about coaching? Check our my website. Blessings. _____________ Individual Inquiry: Are there patterns or behaviors in your life that you’d like to change? Do you feel like you’ve been asleep at the wheel of your life? Or maybe just asleep in one area of your life? What would you like to create or experience instead?